[while sitting in Adirondack chairs]
Patrick: Let's relax and pretend we have pickles on our eyes.
[asking Joshua if he feels better]
Patrick: Joshua, you still feel sick or happy?
Me: Patrick, why are you so cute?
Patrick: Cuz me eat Cute Loops.
Patrick: Mommy, what do I have?
Me: Patrick you have a penis. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
[5 minutes later]
Patrick: Me have a peepee-ginis.
[while looking through the toy catalog to make his list for Santa]
Patrick: me no have this!
Patrick: me no have that!
[repeats over and over again while he circles everything he doesn't have]
Me: Patrick quit picking your nose.
Patrick: But there is food in there.
Patrick: Yeah sure...
Patrick: NO NEVER!
Me: Patrick hurry up and go poop.
Patrick: Me can't, you help me?
Me: Sorry bud, can't help you with that.
Patrick: Just reach in and grab it out.
Me: Sorry, that is not gonna happen.
Me: Patrick, what do you want to do today?
Patrick: hmm.... how bout me go to someone's house who has food.
[clearly our pantries were empty and I needed to get groceries]
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